Dairy Farm Mucky Lagoon Dip

This story started a few years ago, when I found an interesting looking brown rectangle on Google aerial maps. I had been looking for a farm muck pit, that had been mentioned to me, in area that was a little way from my usual haunts. I didn't find the muck pit in question, but a distinctive brown rectangle had appeared on the aerial maps since I'd last properly looked. With a closer view, the aerial photo revealed it was a large dirty water pond. And above, what could well be a slurry lagoon, right next to what was probably a large cow shed. Some further internet digging revealed some photos of the farm and it certainly was a big slurry lagoon, full of cow shit. This was very interesting! It had been a while since I'd had the chance to visit and play in such a place, so it was a tempting prospect, if I could arrange a night-time visit.

Fast forward through cancelled plans and two years of Covid and the opportunity of an all-nighter of mucky fun came about...

It's just gone 11pm and I'm now heading out of my village towards the farm. It's a little misty, with the outside temp showing 12 degC. It had been a fairly nice mid-October day, but now the sky is pretty clear and the temperature has started to fall. The farm is a good forty-five minutes' drive away and while it was previously unknown to me, as coincidence sometimes is, I'd driven past the single-track road that leads down to the farm many times before. I've got a fair drive and some time to think over what I've planned...

It's looking like it should not be too cold, but it won't be a balmy Summer's night. I'm already wearing my new wetsuit, with a hoodie, joggers and an old coat, in case I need some warmth later on. I've got on cheapo trainers for driving, wellies in the boot for changing into for the hike there and back, and some cheap plimsolls in the rucksack for the getting mucky bit. I'm feeling a bit overdressed for being in the car, but outside is cool and hopefully I won't cook too much on the hike down to the farm. And as I don't want to get the car mucky, I'll need to find a spot near to the farm where I can change, stash my dry clothes and afterwards clean-up for the drive home. This time, I'll bag the mucky wetsuit in my rucksack for cleaning up back at home.

I'm getting well out in to the countryside and the mist is getting thick in places. I hope it's not going to get too bad, or I might have trouble navigating my way down to the farm and across land that'll be all new territory to me. The single-track road down to the farm is about three-quarters of a mile long. Fortunately, the Google Streetview car had been down this first section of the paved road to the farm, so I got a good idea of the lie of the land without a visit. There didn't look anywhere that was not obviously suspicious to park up down the farm road, so I'd have to park near as I can on the main road and hike from there. I know there is a wide grass verge opposite a short row of houses, close to the farm road, where I've seen cars parked before. Hopefully I can get up on and off without too much trouble.

I mull over my plan as I skirt the edge of the town I need to pass through. On the aerial maps, the cow shed and slurry lagoon was at the far south end of the farm complex, so I would need to go round the farm and approach from below. I first thought about heading down the track and then circling east around the farm, but the track and fields to the east were very exposed, with very little cover if someone came up, or down there in a vehicle. Also, if I had to make a quick exit from the farm, I'd be first heading away from where I was parked and would have to cross the track at some point to get back. That didn't feel a good choice. The other option was to head due south from the main road, down the side of a couple of large fields, then turn eastwards, to end up below the farm and then up to the lagoon. While the going would be harder, I was far less likely to come across anyone out and about, or coming home late. Also, on the aerial maps, it showed what looked like a couple of places where muck heaps were stored in these fields, so if they were still there, they'd be worth checking out on the way. The only drawback was it looked like I'd have to cross what looked like a couple of tree-lined ditches to get across and up to the lagoon itself. These ditches, hedges and trees never look much on the aerial maps, but in reality, they can be substantial obstacles.

Heading out of the town, the mist had mostly cleared, so I was hopeful of a clear night. The farm was still quite a way off, but I was starting to get that feeling of excitement when I'm out on a trip to somewhere new. Now well back in to the countryside, the mist had not returned and the temperature was holding, all good signs. While there were a few cars still out on the road, I was mostly driving alone with my thoughts of what tonight might hold. After what seemed a long stretch of driving, I make my last turn and on to the road that eventually passes the farm track. As I approach the grass verge, I can only see one car parked up there and the low spot where I'll get up off the road. It's just before midnight and it all looks very quiet. I carry on past the verge, as I need to be pointing the other way to park up, so I swing round in a turning and head back to the parking spot. This is the tricky part, trying to see the low bit of the verge at night, I really don't want to get stuck half-on, half off the road. I bump up the verge and on to the flat grassy area and kill the engine. I'm here now. Just to get my stuff from the boot, hide the car keys under the wheel arch and set off down the footpath without making too much fuss. Once in my wellies, rucksack on my shoulder, I head off casually down the road towards the nearby farm track junction.

The road is still quiet and as I get opposite the farm track junction, I quickly walk across and through a field access gap in the hedge, heading a little left to get some cover from any car headlights. All OK so far. I paused for moment to get out my black woolly hat and work gloves, so I'm more of just a dark shadow in the landscape. Having a good look around me, just so I don't blunder into anything obvious, the only lights south I could see were in the far distance. On the other side of the hedge, I could see light from the couple of houses that sit on the start of the farm track, but nothing in the road. Having a bit more of a look around me in the dim moonlight, I could see that the field and been ploughed and roughly harrowed, with signs of the previous crop poking out here and there. I was intending walking along the hedge boundary, where it should be easier going, but walking the harrowed earth would not be too hard,if I decided to cut the field corner off. And the soil seems very dry, which I was unsure of, so will be better still for the hike. While cutting across fields makes for a shorter slog, I feel a bit exposed if I'm any distance from a bit of cover. So let's see how this works out and feels.

From the aerial maps, it looked to be nearly a mile across the fields south and then east to the far end of the farm complex. That's a big slog, so I'd better get going. I cut a bit of the top corner off the field, but generally make my way down the left side. About a third of the way down, there should be a small hedgerow, or fence cutting across, where I had seen areas that muck had been stored. After a while, in the gloom, I see what looks like a bit of a tractor path and some scrubby bits of hedge. Looking around, I can't see any dark outline that maybe a muck heap, so cut right and across the middle of the field. This is taking me away from the direction I need to go, but there's not enough moonlight to really see any distance. Certainly, there's been tractor activity along here, with areas that are cut up and once very muddy. After a while, I get to the far-right side of the field without finding any muck heaps. Bugger! Time to head further down the rest of this big field. A little before the far bottom left of the field there is a house shown on the maps, off a branch in the farm track, with a large garden extending into the field. I was intending to take a wide berth around this area, just to be on the safe side, but as I'm now on the far right, I might as well carry straight down past and then cut left. All this detouring was adding up my already substantial slog and whatever the air temperature, I certainly wasn't cold on the inside of all these clothes. But otherwise, it was a nice night being in the countryside.

Slogging on through the field, I could see this side of the scrubby hedge has not been ploughed and harrowed, and the harvested crop stalks were a mixture of standing and laying thick white sticks. This would be less easy going if I decided to cut across, so I stick down close to the hedge. Also, it was very noticeable that the field was now sloping downward towards where the farmland eventually meets the sea wall. As I get some distance further on, I could see a dark rounded shape in the near distance sticking out in to the field. Was this one of the muck heaps I'd seen on the maps, but just a bit further down the field? Walking on with my focus on the shape in the distance, I was feeling less cheesed-off about the detour I'd taken. My enthusiasm was short lived, as when I got closer, I realised it was just some shrubby trees and a dense thicket of brambles along a bit of jink in the hedge-line. I needed to get a move-on, time was passing by and still had a way to go. Marching on, I could not see any sign of the house on the left-hand side of the field. But I knew at some point in time, I needed to head left towards the bottom left-hand corner of the field and find a way through to below the farm complex. After a short while, I could see in the dim light, a change in the field ahead. The cut crop stopped and there was a mixture of weeds and grass tuffs. Time to head left. Cutting through the weeds and grass tufts was not easy and my straight line was becoming a bit of a zig-zag, but out of almost nowhere, I came to the field corner and a found stile over the fence. Blimey, what a bit of luck!

Once over the stile, I was on now what looked like well grazed grass, this should be easier going. I headed east and up towards the dark shape of what I knew was a large hedge and a few trees. Some distance ahead and towards the farm, and I could see an orange glow through the tops of the trees, which I guess was from somewhere in the collection of buildings. As I reached the far end of the hedge, I found the dirt track that led to the farm. I now needed to be a bit more careful, as I was heading on to the north-south access track and I could easily bump in to someone out late with not much warning, as I could only see about twenty feet in front of me. Heading up between the overhanging trees, I soon found the junction to the track. All appeared quiet. I could see the orange glow a bit more clearly over the tops of the trees and it appeared to be coming from the apex of a large building down at the bottom of the complex. As I should be now roughly facing the area where the lagoon was situated, I had a bad feeling the floodlight might be on the end of the cow shed...

That's not what I really wanted, but it may not be a total disaster, I have braved farm lights before, I would just need to take more care. Here, I should be roughly between the muck lagoon and foul water pond, so this would be a good spot to try and get through. Looking a little way up and down the track, the ditch looked crossable, but tree-filled hedge looked impenetrable. OK, I'll head down the track and see if there's a proper gap, or a less dense section. Walking down, there didn't seem anywhere that looked much better and I'm now losing a proper idea of where I am from my memory of the aerial maps. After a little more of a walk south, I come across a gap in the trees and a scrubby track leading towards the farm. Heading in, I can see some seriously tall vegetation to my left and the feint sound of ducks. I'm probably just below the large fowl water lagoon, which is not too off course. Walking along the track, it becomes a bit overgrown and strewn with looked like overgrown piles of rubble, and I quickly get to a dead-end of dense, tall vegetation. Great!

I must be close to getting through to the grass field below the farm complex, but this dense vegetation may turn out to be unpassable, then I'll have to backtrack and try and find another way through. That'll be more time wasted! I'll press on through and just see how it goes. I start to trample down the vegetation that is tall as me, trying not to make too much noise, but I feel I am. Without any warning, I suddenly fall out of the jungle and on to short grass of the field, but I soon realise I'm on the south side of the big hedge and ditch that separates the farm complex from the fields below. And it's a big, thick hedge. Walking further east, away from the farm, I look for a way through. The first gap I find looks promising, but as I go in closer, it's a sea of stinging nettles filling the big ditch. I'm now getting frustrated, not knowing how far I'll have to go away from the farm to get through. I should have looked at this area properly on the maps before coming! Getting a march on, I head along the hedge. Just when I start to wonder how long I'll have to go, I come to a proper access gap through the hedge - Bingo! I'm now getting somewhere, although I still need to find a safe place to stash my gear and for changing afterwards, but I'll go through, head back to the farm to check out the lagoon, before looking for a spot. It seems to have taken forever just to get to this point, and checking my watch, it's a little before 1am.

Now on the farm side of the hedge, I get a proper view of the large cow shed and the sodium floodlight on the apex. From here, the cow shed is much higher up than where I'm standing and I can now see this side of the lagoon is steeply banked and covered, once again, in tall vegetation. I didn't appreciate this on the aerial maps. I can just about see slivers of light through the slatted sides and a little of the open end of the shed, which makes me feel the shed lights are on, if only dimly. I can't hear any sound of the cows coming from the shed, and while this and the lower field I've been in are obviously pasture, there are no cows out either? But at least I don't have to worry about spooking them. Cutting along the hedge towards the lagoons, I get to an electric fence that's separating some derelict small sheds and other junk in scrubby undergrowth. I want to head towards the lagoon, rather than up to the cow shed area, so I carefully step over the wire, not really knowing if it's on, or not and work my past the junk. In the dim moonlight and spill from the floodlight, the derelict low sheds, with their dark interiors make me feel a bit uneasy. I'm not normally spooked by places, maybe it's just something from our cave-man instincts? To prove to myself it's just me, I have a look inside one - nothing hiding in here. I get to a barbed-wire and mesh fence that I assume is to properly fence off the lagoons. Judging by how close I am now to the cow shed, that seems to almost tower over me, I'd guess I'm somewhere along the side of the slurry lagoon earth bank. I can now properly smell cow muck and I start to really feel that mixture of excitement and a bit of anxiety, when I'm getting near to exploring a new place, that could offer some opportunity to play in deep, glorious muck. But first, I need to get up there and have a look.

On the other side of the barbed-wire fence is more tall vegetation leading up and covering the lagoon earth bank. There's a track to the far right that looks like it leads up on to the lagoon at the cow shed end and that would be an easy route, but I don't want to get too close and lit up just yet. Hopping over the barbed wire fence, I carefully make my way through the tall weeds. It's a bit of a steep slope, but manageable in these dry conditions. At the top, in the orange light of the floodlight, I find myself at the edge of a dirt track that goes round the slurry lagoon and it's seen some use recently, as it's hard compacted bare mud. Looking across the lagoon, I can see why - the lagoon has been dug out with the sides freshly scraped in to smooth, steep slopes and a good ten feet drop down to the surface of what's left in there. I can't deny I'm a bit disappointed. In the aerial maps and on the drone photos I found online, the lagoon looked pretty full. Seeing how deep the lagoon is just to the surface of what's in there now, if it was full up of cow muck, I certainly would be way out of my depth. Now that would be some deep sinking! Looking over to the cow shed, I can see some lights on inside and can just make out some actual cows, especially when they move. I guess that they've just been very quiet. Still in the partial cover of the tall weeds, I pull out my compact binos from the backpack and have a proper look at the shed. Looking over the front of the shed wall, I can't see anything that obviously looks like a CCTV camera. And yes, there are plenty of cows inside and now that I'm quiet, I can hear the occasional clop of hooves, pissing and plops of cow shit hitting the floor - and something else, that sounds like, music? Another cow shed radio left playing at night? The cows must find it relaxing, or maybe there's someone working a night-shift? I've seen cow shed lights come on proper around 3am, but this is too early for someone to be prepping for milking? I scan the shed and surroundings some more with the binos, but I can't see any sign of human activity. If I go in the lagoon, I'm going to be very visible in the glare of sodium light. I need to have a bit of a look around to be happy that I've just got cows for company.

Stepping out from the cover of the tall weeds, I cross the wide dirt track and peek down the lagoon slope nearest to me. Yes, someone has done a good job of scraping the banks in to neat slopes of compacted earth and they are steep enough that I wonder if I'll be able to get down them without just sliding straight in! Looking towards the cow shed end of the lagoon, I can see that side has not been scraped flat like the others. It is a rough slope of bulging banks of muck, with deep channels cut through from water, cow piss and runny muck continually trickling from the shed and narrow yard. Moving on to the bottom left corner of the lagoon, where the aerial maps showed some short structures sticking out towards the center. Now I'm here and the level is much lower, I can see they are two walls made of sleepers, set in RSJs. Something to protect a pump perhaps? Although there's no sign of one. Least the sleeper walls will give me a hand-hold, when going down the steep slope. Walking carefully round the bottom of the lagoon, while keeping any eye on the cow shed for human activity, I'm really aware that I've not got my usual cover of darkness to hide my activities. Looking south and away from the farm, through more tall vegetation, I can now see the even larger foul water lagoon, which is in partial shadow and disappears in the darkness to my right, towards the track where I came in. Reaching the far side of the lagoon, the compacted muddy track splits, going straight on and down the earth bank, and also continuing round the top towards the cow shed. Heading down the slope and further west, I come to what looks like some silage stores, covered with black sheeting and tyres. These were shown on the aerial maps and are pretty much the same. Seems no muck has been stored down here. Looking towards the farm complex, I can see in the near distance further farm buildings either side of a small access way, being silhouetted by lights further in. There is nothing I can see here that suggests activity on the farm, or so I hope. If I'm going in to this muck lagoon, I need to get back, perhaps as far as the gap in the hedge, and find somewhere to safe to stash my stuff and get changed...

Now back through the gap in the hedge and in to the field below, I start to look for a secluded spot. I know there's not much to my right, the way I came in, but just to my left is a small tree on the edge of the ditch that's pretty clear of vegetation under it. Ducking under the branches, I find a small area of long grass that would make a nice spot to stash gear and even get cleaned up after. I pull of my wellies and joggers and put on the plimsolls. Off comes the old coat, but I leave on the black hoodie for warmth, stashing my dry clothes in a bin bag. I pocket the compact binos, for one last look around before committing to going in. Heading back to the lagoon, I can now feel the chill of the long wet grass on my legs through my wetsuit. It might be a bit cold in there... Wasting no time on the brisk walk back to the lagoon, I hop the barbed wire fence a bit earlier and head up through the earth bank vegetation, to what I hope is the bottom corner and where the sleeper walls are. I still feel I'm making far too much noise navigating the tall weeds on the bank, but hopefully there's no one to hear my crunching. At the edge of weed forest, I have a scan through the binos. Same as earlier, the feint sound of the shed radio, but nothing I can see that actually worries me. Time to see what the lagoon's like.

I stash the hoodie at the bottom of the tall weeds, where I can see it, for a fingertip pickup after I'm done in the lagoon. Quickly crossing the path, I step down the lagoon slope in the corner, where it is less steep. I don't slide too much, but hold on to the sleepers for a bit of security. The sleeper wall that points across the lagoon provides a bit of shadow from the floodlight, but it only extends a few feet in to the mucky surface with it this empty. It certainly smells like cow muck, but not like a usual muckheap. Putting a foot through the surface, I quickly realise it's a thin layer of muck floating on what is probably just water. I had a feeling it was going to be like this, from just what it looked like. Somewhat disappointing, but I'm now here, I need to explore the lagoon and see what I can find that's worth a play in. I walk down in to the lagoon and feel the cool of the water soaking through to my feet. The wetsuit insulates me from the cold of the water until I get in deep enough where it seeps through the slit at groin level. It's not too much of a shock, but I'm not sure I'd want to be in here any length of time naked! Walking a bit further in towards the middle, it does not get really any deeper, with the floating muck surface just about around my waist. Swishing the floating surface around with my hands, it's clear this area is not worth playing in. Looking around the lit lagoon, I'm obviously completely visible, so if I'm going to do anything here, I have to accept it and not worry. Heading back to the bank, I climb up just out of the watery layer. Looking towards the cow sheds, the heaped banks of muck on the yard end slope seem to be a better place to explore.

The scraped bank is steep, but as it's completely dry, I can get a reasonable foot-hold and with one hand resting on the slope, I make a lop-sided walk towards the cow shed end. Now I'm closer, I can see that this end of the lagoon surface is smooth, without the crusty floating layer and has flow-like patterns on its surface from what's come down the cow shed bank. It doesn't look like water, so maybe there's some proper cow muck? I shuffle back down in to the lagoon and find the watery surface is a thin layer over something a little thicker. As I move forward, the thicker stuff underneath is pushed up and disturbs the surface. I can't really tell in the orange sodium light if it's more like the cow shit I know, but there's certainly more of the familiar smell. I am now waist deep in the lagoon and moving about is a little harder. As I head towards the middle and the cow shed bank, it gets much thicker and I realise this is cow muck that has been scraped from the shed and has run down here. Maybe not what I was hoping for, but this is pretty good. Moving now with some difficulty, I head for where the biggest channel in the cow shed bank has been carved, and to where I hope is the freshest cow shit is. I get to within a few yards of the bank and I can't really move through the muck as it's so thick. Lifting my legs as high as I can, I make a few steps more, then stop. This seems like a good spot to play for a while. Kneeling down, I sink up to my chest and can feel the pressure of the muck finding its way inside my wetsuit. Sticking my hands and arms in, I have push around in the thick muck and get a proper sense of the sea of cow shit around me. Leaning back, I sink further and the muck takes my weight and I semi-float. Pushing my legs out, I wiggle my way down and sink neck deep. It's not exactly warm, but not cold enough with the wetsuit on to be off-putting. But it is a slightly surreal experience, as I'm still fully lit up by the sodium floodlight and it's probably the closest thing to doing this in the daytime, even if it's a strange yellow-orange monochrome form of daylight. Reaching in through the slot in my wetsuit, I pull out my semi-hard cock and slowly rub myself while floating in this sea of cow shit. With my senses filled with the smell and feel of the liquid muck, the experience starts to carry me away from worrying about being visible floating in a lagoon of cow shit, towards that wonderful place of near oblivion. But I mustn't come just yet, I have more to explore.

Pulling my feet back under me, I struggle through the muck to stand up. I am now covered neck-to-waist in what is probably green-brown cow shit, but I can't really tell the colour. I should check out the thick banks of muck that have accumulated on the un-scraped yard slope of the lagoon. I crawl-wade towards the right-hand scraped back and climb up out of the muck. At least this exertion is keeping me fairly warm. Working along to the yard slope, I climb up to the top, where the slope meets the steel panel yard fence. There is just a small-ish gap at the bottom of the fence, where the muck is scraped though. I'm now in the shadow of the fence and peer through the gap to get a better view in to the cow shed proper. Yes, there are cows in there, I guess doing night-time cow stuff. I can't really see too much through the gap, certainly not enough to see if there are any CCTV cameras in the yard, but that's probably a bit late now. To my left, there is a small stream of water, but also most likely cow piss, running off the yard and down in to the lagoon. There are a few of these small streams along the yard fence and they seem to have carved small valleys into the bank of muck on this slope. Towards the left-hand end of the yard slope, there was a much larger channel cut in to the muck and the thick banks sloped out a little in to the lagoon. This might be a good place to explore and find some deeper, thicker muck to sink and play in? Turning round to look and the expanse of the lagoon in front of me, with my eyes been given some shade by the panel fence, it was certainly lit up by the sodium floodlight and there was nowhere to take shelter from its glare. I guess it is what is it.

Taking the high path underneath the yard fence, the banks of muck were shin deep with slabs, or bricks facing the slope. Getting to the far-left side, there was more like a proper drain gulley and a larger stream of water/piss flowing down. But the banks of muck either side were much bigger. Using the gulley as an easier path, I climbed down and into the bigger bank of muck. I sank up to my knees and was quickly stuck. Sitting down, I pulled my legs out and backwards wallow-crawl my way down towards the lagoon surface where the bank levelled out. I was stuck again in thick deep muck. This was hard work. Pitching forward and trying to crawl, my hands and arms sinking right in when I tried to get purchase, I get down to where the bank extended out in to the lagoon surface. Having a wiggle into the thick muck, I find the hard surface of the lagoon bottom only a few feet down. The bottom here must be sloping I guess? This was a bit disappointing, as I'd really hoped for deeper stuff. I could only imagine what this lagoon was like when it was near to being full, as I'd seen from the drone photos. Hauling myself back up on to the surface, I crawled through the muck back towards the middle of the yard slope. Here, the muck was slightly above the lagoon surface for quite a big distance in to the lagoon. Crawling through the surface and a little distance out in to the lagoon, I had a wiggle down to see what the depth was like. I went down to around my middle before managed to touch bottom, but now I was pretty stuck and could not move in any direction. While being pretty thick and trapping, this cow muck was not like I'd found in traditional muck pits, where there is some straw content. It was very smooth, almost estuary mud-like, but still a little lumpy when scooped up. Not that it mattered, it was thick, wonderful smelling cow muck and deep enough to sink into and get lost in.

Sitting back and sinking up to my chest, I was now supported by the muck and could feel it pressing on me. Pushing my feet out, I sank a bit further down and wiggled down as far as I could, so just my head was above the surface. Maybe not like being neck deep, but probably as good as I'm going to get here. I was also now lit up by the sodium floodlight, but I didn't really care. I reached down to the slot in my wetsuit and started to slowly rub my cock in the thick cow shit that was suspending me. My slow rubbing made small waves on the surface and pushing my head back slightly, I could feel the liquid muck soak in to my hair. I've only found a few places where I've been able to sink truly neck deep and have that wonderful fantasy thrill of sinking down in a "bottomless" pit of cow, or pig shit and being trapped. While this wasn't quite that, letting my imagination get lost in the sensual experience, I was pretty close. The thick cow shit would not allow me to rub my cock faster, so I took my time to get myself close to cuming, stopping when very close a few times, so enjoy this moment. Almost overwhelmed by my senses, I don't think now I'd even notice someone standing at the top of the lagoon, let alone anywhere else around the cow shed and yard. While I wanted this experience to just go on and on, eventually, I could not hold off any longer and came with a blinding spasm, pumping my cum out in to the sea of cow shit I was suspended in. Breathing hard and with only the sound of blood pumping in my ears, I took a little while to recover and gather my senses to where I was and my situation. Looking around and towards the cow shed, I'm still the only person here, so that's good. Laying there suspended for a short while, I am now starting to feel the chill of the slurry that has leaked through my wetsuit. While laying here is nice, I do need to think about getting out and what I'm going to do next? I've no idea of the time, not that it really matters.

Getting my feet back on to the bottom of the lagoon, I wiggle forward and try to stand up. While the slurry is fairly thick here, it's nothing like muck pits I've been in where it holds you fast and takes serious effort to get free. Slowly crawling and step-wading further in, the slurry thins out to watery stuff and I can get to the less sloping corner where I came down. I can see I've got a nice green-brown covering on my wetsuit above the "waterline". Using the sleeper wall that juts out in to the corner, I haul myself out of the lagoon and sit down for a bit of a rest on the bank, behind its shadow and out of the glare of the sodium floodlight. What now? Is there anything more I want to explore here - I'm not sure there is? I didn't see any sign of a muck heap, or otherwise on Google maps and I'm not sure I really want to go into the cow shed yard, or start poking around the buildings. Out here on edge in the lagoon is one thing, but that's another... I have my old digital camera in the hoodie pocket, maybe I should have tried to set it up on the lagoon bank to video at least some of my wallow, but I can't imagine it would show a lot in the yellow light, and it's a bit late now. Time to head back to the relative seclusion of the hedge where I stashed my gear. A brief look around as I poke my head above the shadow of the sleeper wall and all looks quiet. Quickly across the lagoon's top track, collecting my hoodie and I disappear into the tall vegetation, again with more crunching noise than I'd have liked.

Down and over the barbed wire fence without snagging any delicate bits, I'm back in the grass pasture. Even with the brisk walk, now I'm wet, I'm feeling the chill of the night. That's the thing, while aroused and in the moment, I don't really feel the cold, but once the afterglow wears off, it's a different matter. Through the hedge gap and left down to where I stashed my gear, I duck into the grassy clearing under the shrubby tree. My gear is still here, which is always a relief, even though it should be? I pull out my small towel, dry top and bin liner. Do I try and take a quick flash photo here in my mucky wetsuit before I change and clean up? Looking around, the open pasture to the south is the only direction that is not enclosed by the shrubby hedges. The night is very still, with no clouds in a visible starry sky. In the distance are lights, which I guess are from the holiday camp down by the sea wall, but they are several big fields away. Having a quick look at the time, it's just gone 2 am. I can't imagine there's anyone around at this time now that would take notice of a flash in the distance? Wiping my mucky hands in the long grass, I dig out the camera from my hoodie pocket. Laying down in the grass, it is so quiet and still, that my almost recovered heartbeat is the only thing I can hear - no cows, no marsh birds, nothing. Looking up at the sky, I can really see the scope of the stars visible on a clear, dark night. This is another rather surreal experience, laying in the dewy grass in the early hours of the morning, covered in cowshit, staring up at the stars, with the after-feeling of just having an intense orgasm. It's quite a nice feeling, but I can't stay here all night. Fumbling with the camera buttons, I get a dull glow on the screen. I've no idea what it's seeing, as it's too dark for a picture on the screen. Hoping I am pointing roughly in the correct direction, I press the button and get a group of small-small-big flashes, as it does its thing in the dark. Looking at the brief pre-view on the screen, I've not got all of me in. Having another go, with all the flash-flash-flash, I see that I've got most of me from the chest down. Not great, but better than nothing. Now I've lit up the sky like a UFO landing, I feel less keen about hanging around. Camera in the backpack, I struggle out of the wetsuit and try and fold it up neatly in the bin liner. Now I can feel the cold of the night! Hurriedly, I wipe my mucky middle down and try and get reasonably dry. On with the dry top, joggers, hoodie, socks and wellies. I'm now feeling some warmth and security of clothes. I stash the mucky plimsolls and socks in with the wetsuit and jam the whole lot in the slightly too small backpack. On with my old green coat and I'm pretty much ready for the epic hike back to the car. While the only thing I can smell is cowshit, I should pass muster for the casual observer... if I meet one.

Walking back westwards along the hedge line, I get to the tall undergrowth that I fought my way through to get to this lower pasture field. No way am I going to be able to find my way back though this dark jungle to the gap in the track hedge where I came in. It's going to be quicker to go south along the edge of the field till I find a clearer way across to the track, than back up to where I need to be. It seems such a waste of time to heading away from where I want to go, but I don't feel I have any choice. In the gloom, the tall, thick vegetation does not seem to end, but eventually, I get to a spot where I thins out in to long grass with the odd shrubby bush. Picking my way through, I find a dirt track, that should hopefully be the one I crossed way up by the farm. Walking up, it looked like this was the dumping ground for old farm junk and rubble. I'm in heading home mode and feel OK and comfortable in dry clothes, but I must still be aware of what's around and not blunder into something, or someone. The junk yard ends and the track now has tall hedges both sides, making my path ahead far less visible. Not really knowing how far I've got to go, I see the glow from the orange sodium light to my right, so I must be close to where I came in. Without much warning, I'm at the junction of the tracks where I came in. Now that I have an idea where the field corner stile is, I head straight across the short grass pasture.

Hopping over the stile, I now need to decide what path I take up the very big field of harvested crops. Maybe diagonally across this end and up the west side, to cut down on the long zig-zag path I took coming down. Now I'm heading back, I realise how much uphill this field is, no wonder it felt pretty easy going on the way down! This end of the field still has cut crop laying and it's making it even harder, stepping over, or swerving round the big stalks. I reach the west side of the field and trudge my way up to the top, I'm certainly feeling the effort and lateness of the night. There's a house adjacent to the top corner of the field, so I cut the corner, keeping a bit of distance and making the path to the gap in the hedge a bit shorter. I'm now stumbling over the rough harrowed earth, sometimes like I'm a bit drunk, but I know it's just tiredness. Not at all too soon, I reach the gap in the hedge where I came in. Quickly across the road and along the footpath to where I parked. Keys recovered, clean trainers retrieved from the boot, wellies off and backpack stashed, I'm in the car. So far, so good. I'm so hot from the hike, I'm misting up the inside of the windscreen, but not so much it stops me from getting going, gently easing the car off the grass verge and on to the road. I always have a bit of a sense of relief when heading home from a successful visit. I guess the risky bits are over and I can relax a little, with the after-glow of the hike and a very intense orgasm... Looking at the dash clock, it's 2:50am - another forty-five minutes and I should be home, and then the clean-up. It's certainly going to be a late one before I get to bed. Some of tonight has been a hard slog, but with that were some wonderful moments that I don't get to have very often. I wonder how long it will be before the lagoon is back to being full up and be a proper deep sink..?